She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says “if you can’t open it, you don’t deserve it.” This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something’s really hard to unwrap or pry apart.
I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-open things, and am now the go-to pickle jar guy. -etymologynerd
Said every time she walked past me, while I was eating something; then promptly followed by her grabbing the “poisoned” bit of whatever I was eating and eating it herself.
She did every day while I lived under her roof. She still does it every time I visit or we go out for dinner. -vmim
English is my mom’s second language, so instead of saying “It’s my way or the highway” my mom says “My way is the highway.” -Goldfish_Crackerz
Headache? Drink more water. Upset stomach? Drink water. Bad grades? You need more water. Bone protruding from your knee? Drink some water, you’ll be fine. -calinaxoxo
I have to admit over the years it’s helped me step back and take a breath before I end up breaking something to shit in frustration. -LittleBupBoy
Usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn’t have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan. -AWildEnglishman
Recently I quoted it to my daughter (she was dancing in the bath, slipped and banged her head) and I realized I am my mom. -pinkglitteryseaglass
Don’t know why but every single medical problem (even a cough) and this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth. -BasicDescription
She runs through each of the kids’ names before she gets to the one she actually wants to call. -Lone_Ponderer
Heard this one too many times when asking mom to help me find stuff. -w0w0lf
Which is absolutely true. -NettyTheMadScientist
Me: “Something hurts” -unpluggedcord
Would be said when I was trying to skip church by sleeping in after I had been out prowling late the night before. -cfthroaway2017
When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy. -IncompleteInsecure
When something bad happens to me, she’ll always try to correlate it to something unrelated. -zuliboy
My mother could never resist quoting DMX when we were being bad. -fortheworkmtf
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