I’M STILL NOT OVER IT.

Hear ye, hear ye! I recently rewatched The Princess Diaries and The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement and I need to get something off my chest.

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It’s complete and utter BULLSHIT that Michael Moscovitz is basically forgotten in the sequel and I’m mad as hell.

It's complete and utter BULLSHIT that Michael Moscovitz is basically forgotten in the sequel and I'm mad as hell.

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1) He had adorable floppy hair and bangs that made him look like the fifth Beatle:

I'm sorry, this is the cutest shit I've ever seen in my entire life.

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3) He was into Mia BEFORE Paolo took this and this and gave us a princess, to the point that he freaking fixed her car:

He's handy too!

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5) He had to put up with Lilly, who is honestly annoying AF most of the time:

Lilly's honestly not even a great friend. I said it.

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6) He inspired Mia to send him this perfect pizza:

Okay, it's actually kind of a weird ass pizza!!!!! But it was so sweet.

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7) He wore a tux (and combed those adorable aforementioned bangs), even though you can tell that’s not his thing:

7) He wore a tux (and combed those adorable aforementioned bangs), even though you can tell that's not his thing:

He cleans up nice!

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8) HE GAVE MIA A MAGICAL, FOOT-POPPING KISS:

Pop pop, bitch!!!!!

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9) And, here’s a final reminder just in case you forgot, HE SAW HER WHEN SHE WAS INVISIBLE:

9) And, here's a final reminder just in case you forgot, HE SAW HER WHEN SHE WAS INVISIBLE:

Fuck you, Josh Richter.

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Okay, I’m sorry I went full-on listicle in that tangent but, like Elle Woods would say, I have a point, I promise!

Okay, I'm sorry I went full-on listicle in that tangent but, like Elle Woods would say, I have a point, I promise!

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The point is, after all of those amazing things about Michael Moscovitz, it is so fucking disrespectful that his character was a mere CLIFF NOTE at the beginning of Princess Diaries 2:

She didn't even show her damn face!!!!

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In a voiceover at the beginning of the film — a fucking VOICEOVER — Mia says: “‘How’s Michael?’ you may ask. Well, we’re just friends now, as he went off to tour the country with his band.”

In a voiceover at the beginning of the film — a fucking VOICEOVER — Mia says: "'How's Michael?' you may ask. Well, we're just friends now, as he went off to tour the country with his band."

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And that’s fucking it!!!!! 21 words. Two sentences. All that beautiful, sweet, sweet, foot-popping love is just brushed aside like garbage.

And that's fucking it!!!!! 21 words. Two sentences. All that beautiful, sweet, sweet, foot-popping love is just brushed aside like garbage.

I'm not even going to GET INTO the fact that Mia and Michael freakin' GET MARRIED in the books!!!

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Now, before you come at me in the comments, I know that the line was a “funny” nod to the fact that Robert Schwartzman’s band, Rooney, literally was touring the world and that’s why he couldn’t be in the sequel.

(They also appeared on The O.C., but that's neither here nor there.)

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But for the love of Fat Louie, we deserved a much better fictional explanation than that!!!!