Warning: Major, heartbreaking spoilers for Game of Thrones below!
Do you think my insurance will allow me to bill Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss directly for all of the therapy I'm inevitably going to need after watching season eight? Because, with just one more episode to go in the groundbreaking fantasy series, I'm about this close to losing it. Over the last five episodes, the HBO hit has managed to kill off everyone from brave and badass defenders of the North, to a certain evil queen, to yet another dragon. If you're curious about how each character exited the series, or you just need a reason to cry today, keep reading.
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Dies in: Episode 5, "The Bells" How he goes out: Jaime, loyal to Cersei until the bitter end, ventures into King's Landing to rescue his sister/lover from Daenerys's fiery attack. Unfortunately, a fatal combination of some deep stab wounds to the gut from a run-in with Euron and the Red Keep caving in on him as he holds Cersei results in Jaime's death. Keep Brienne in your thoughts.
Dies in: Episode 5, "The Bells" How she goes out: Jaime leads Cersei down to the tunnels below the Red Keep where the dragon skulls are in hopes of escaping through a secret passage that leads to the shore outside. Tyrion had promised a rowboat would be waiting there to transport them to safety, but by the time the doomed lovers arrive in the crypts, the passage has caved in and they soon realize they're trapped. The ceiling begins to crumble around them, leaving the Lannister twins dead and buried in the rubble of the castle they fought so hard to control.
Dies in: Episode 5, "The Bells" How he goes out: Yes, Cleganebowl finally comes to pass! The warrior has a tough battle against his zombie brother, but is able to gain the upper hand when he latches onto the Mountain and sends them both crashing off a ledge and into the fiery rubble of King's Landing far, far below. It's a high price to pay, but we know it's what the Hound has always wanted.
Dies in: Episode 5, "The Bells" How he goes out: Gregor "the Mountain" Clegane is able to withstand stabs to the chest, neck, and even through the eye during his fight with his brother, thanks to his status as a member of the undead. Fortunately, he's killed for good when the Hound drags them both off a ledge in the Red Keep to their deaths.
Dies in: Episode 5, "The Bells" How he goes out: This Jack Sparrow wannabe meets his maker after duking it out with Jaime on the shore of King's Landing. He manages to give the Lannister brother a few deep, nearly fatal stab wounds, but Jaime is the one with the last laugh when he impales Euron through the chest. The Iron Islands native dies laughing, though, seemingly elated at the knowledge that he may be responsible for Jaime's eventual death, even if he won't be around to see it.
Dies in: Episode 5, "The Bells" How he goes out: This one hurt, you guys. After Tyrion tells Dany that Varys is engaging in treasonous behavior (aka attempting to get Jon Snow on the Iron Throne), she has him roasted alive by Drogon. The Master of Whispers is no more.
Dies in: Episode 4, "The Last of the Starks" How she goes out: After being captured by Euron, Cersei chains Missandei up and has her beheaded in front of Daenerys and Greyworm. It's a bitter death that only serves to move Dany further in the direction of becoming the Mad Queen. Missandei deserved better.
Dies in: Episode 4, "The Last of the Starks" How he goes out: Because Dany "kind of forgot about the Iron Fleet" (according to the showrunners), she, Drogon, and Rhaegal fly straight into an ambush that leaves the latter dragon dead after he's shot down into the ocean. Brutal.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How he goes out: Dolorous Edd has been a member of the Night's Watch since the beginning of the series, which made it especially emotional to see him die protecting Samwell Tarly out on the battlefield early on in the episode. (Real talk: Sam should never have been out there, and it's essentially his fault Edd dies.) He takes a sword through chest thanks to a wight who attacks from behind. RIP, Edd.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How she goes out: After surviving the chaos outside Winterfell's walls, this pint-sized badass retreats inside with her men as the wight army begins pounding down the doors. Before long, a wight giant comes charging in, flinging her tiny body off to the side like a gnat. Though injured, Lyanna pulls herself up and screams as she rushes the giant, who picks up her and squeezes her to death. But — BUT!!! — before she takes her last breath, she's able to bring the giant down with her by stabbing it directly through its glowing blue eye with her sword.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How he goes out: The show was always going to try to get as high a body count with recognizable characters as it could while holding back on eliminating any main players in the Battle of Winterfell. So, that means supporting characters like Beric, who is more popular to book readers anyway, were likely to die in the invasion from the get-go. Without Thoros of Myr to bring him back from the dead as usual, he succumbs to multiple stab wounds sustained from saving Arya from a horde of wights running through the halls of Winterfell.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How he goes out: Jorah dies valiantly during the Battle of Winterfell, doing his father's memory justice as he takes out wights with his new Valyrian steel sword and protects Daenerys from certain death after she falls from Drogon and the dragon flees (to be fair, Drogon is covered in stabby wights himself at the time). Together, they fight side by side for awhile on the battlefield, but eventually the invading wights become too much and Jorah is stabbed a few times. He dies in Dany's arms, as Rhaegal flies over and protectively covers the two of them with his wing.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How he goes out: Theon had one of the most depressing character arcs on this series, so we're at least happy that he dies an admirable death while trying to protect Bran in the Godswood. After all the other members of the Ironborn fall around him as the wights invade, Theon is able to keep expertly taking out the zombies with arrows (and then when those run out, he starts slaying them left and right with his spear).
He's the only reason why Bran survives up until the very end, since the Night King arrives just after Theon has killed all of the attacking wights. Theon accepts his fate after Bran tells him he's a "good man," and charges at the icy villain with his spear raised. He dies instantly, of course, thanks to a sword through the chest courtesy of the Night King, but it's an act of bravery that we won't soon forget.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How he goes out: In a truly insane moment, Arya kills the Night King in the midst of the battle raging at Winterfell. At that point, the frozen dictator has just taken out Theon and is approaching Bran, sitting in his wheelchair, and things look dire. How can Bran possibly defend himself, you know? But then — THEN!!! — Arya leaps out of . . . well, I'm not sure where she comes from, but she practically jumps on top of the Night King with her blade at the ready.
He catches her by the neck, but in a shocking twist, she's able to drop her blade into her free hand and stab him in the stomach. The Night King then shatters into a billion little ice chunks, and every other wight and White Walker does the same.
Dies in: Episode 3, "The Long Night" How she goes out: Melisandre unexpectedly arrival at Winterfell and sets about lighting a bunch of stuff on fire with her magic, telling Ser Davos that he doesn't need to execute her since she'll die by the end of the night, and giving Arya the pep talk she needs to kill the Night King. And then, once the battle is over and the North is victorious, she takes off the magic red necklace that has kept her youthful all this time, walks out into the snowy remains of Winterfell, and rapidly ages before turning to dust as Davos looks on. A mind-boggling end to a mind-boggling character.