Sadly, not all marriages work out in the end. And, in some cases, several relationships barely got off the ground in the first place after specific cringy moments occurred during their own weddings. I pray you guys never find yourself in such ugly situations…
“The groom looked drunk and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom.”
“The groom said in his speech, ‘When I joined a dating agency I never thought I’d be so lucky as to find my own personal cook, dishwasher, and washing machine. Not only is that a sh—- way to describe ANYONE, he’s in for a nasty surprise when he realizes his wife is actually a complete diva and will expect him to do all those things for her! Bad relationship all round.”
“I’m a Wedding DJ. I was given a request by the bride maybe an hour into what was scheduled to be a three-hour dance. Normally when I get a request from either the bride or groom, I will ask them ‘Do you want that now, or at some point later?’ especially if the song is not in the genre that I am playing in right now.
“She told me that she wanted it now, so I queued it up on the deck that wasn’t playing the current song. She walked away happy, expecting that her song would be next. Immediately after she left my table the groom walks up to me and asks me what she requested. I show him, he half-laughs and tells me not to play it. Conflicted and surprised, I ask him ‘why not?,’ to which he replies ‘she’s an idiot, that song sucks.’
“If you respond like that to a single song in a three-hour dance, then there’s no way that you are going to respond well to something more serious when it comes up in the future. Among DJs, we call people like this ‘repeat customers.'”
“[She made me get] $500 pants. After I refused, the bride freaked because it made the wedding party uneven. Groom bought my pants, I wore them once, they divorced. He seems a lot happier with his new wife.”
“Groom’s mistress found out he was getting married and showed up at the wedding, in the middle of the I-do’s, walked right up on stage and smacked him in the face.”
“Had a wedding I coordinated where the bride literally went from this sweet, kind, and very fun person, to a meltdown-laden bridezilla. It was bad. I knew it wasn’t going to last the moment she arrived at the venue. She tore up the guest list, and was furious at the groom because his family, most of them either elderly and disabled, weren’t at the ceremony yet (they were 5 minutes late, and parking was awful). So she decided to start the ceremony even though they weren’t there yet. The groom had zero say as he was a really quiet guy. During the bridal procession down the aisle, people kept arriving and having to walk down the aisle to get to their seats. She insulted each member of his family as they would enter the venue.
“Then, during the actual vows, the groom was so terrified, he literally couldn’t look at her. Instead, he did his vows while looking at the minister. She grabbed his face mid-vows, pointed his face to hers, then said ‘Do them over … NOW!’ Probably the most cringe-worthy moment I’ve ever seen in my entire career. The guests tried to laugh it off, but we all felt bad for him.
“The icing on the cake was during the toast. She decided to talk about his mom … then passive-aggressively insult her … then completely insult the crowd … then her new husband (yes, she was sober). After the dinner, about 75% of the guests just up and left.
…They divorced a few weeks later.”
“The body language was perplexing and then just sad during photos. Culturally, its not uncommon for PDA to be kept to a minimum, but the way she leaned away from him and could barely look at him … She was so obviously miserable. To this day I regret not offering to help her escape through a bathroom window. I told myself it was not my place to interfere and that I should just shut up and do my job. I will never take another client without a face to face with the bride first. I hope they’re not still together.”
“At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom is in tears, because ‘he looks miserable’ and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for each other, the bride starts with ‘I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!’
“They were divorced a year later.”
“She flinched when he turned to kiss her. They were divorced within six months.”
“Groom got so drunk at the reception he passed out in the honeymoon suite by himself, but not before he latched the door so it couldn’t be unlocked from the outside. Seeing the bride kicking the door and hollering at the top of her lungs to be let in at 3 a.m. was not encouraging.
“They divorced like two years later.”
“I went to a wedding where the wife-to-be told the groom-to-be about 10,000 times in my presence (before the wedding, obviously) that she did not want the cake smashed in her face and if he smashed the cake in her face they would have serious problems.
“He smashed the cake in her face.
“She had it annulled.”
“When I was going through law school I used to process serve in the evenings — handing our summons and delivering divorce papers, etc.
“I usually never had time to read the complaints, but I was having trouble finding the husband to serve the divorce papers on — he had deserted from the Navy — so I hoped that the papers might have some clue in them as to how I could find him.
“Turns out the complaint stated that ‘He left the wedding reception with one of the bridesmaids and at that point the wife determined that the marriage was over …’
“Looks like he has quite a track record in deserting.”
“During the ceremony when the priest started asking the bride, ‘Do you take this man to be your-,’ she started laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t stop. It was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got real uncomfortable. They lasted a year and change.”
“The bride, whom I didn’t even know, apparently designated me to help decorate the reception hall prior to the wedding. I went to do so, and her mother was there, telling me in a hushed, scared whisper that I better not mess anything up because the bride would be FURIOUS. Everything was to be a certain way, and if it was wrong, there’d be hell to pay.
“I gave her the benefit of the doubt (chalked it up to wedding anxiety) and during the reception I tried to chat with her a bit and she literally rolled her eyes at me. I also didn’t see her look at the groom once at the wedding or the reception.
“They were split less than a year later. Later, the groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he’d been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread and spent several hours just sitting on his lawn, thinking, ‘I shouldn’t do this.’ But it was paid for, tons of guests were waiting, lots of family (including us) had come in from out of state, and he felt he had to go through with it. Apparently the bride had a history of being awful and controlling. No clue what made him propose to her in the first place.”
“We knew the couple was in trouble when they frowned during most of the ceremony and later didn’t go on a honeymoon because they couldn’t agree on a destination. They had plenty of money — just no desire to compromise.”
“The groom was wearing a pair of old running shoes. (For the record, he wasn’t poor.) Everyone else including his groomsmen and best man were wearing dress shoes. My dad leans over to me and says, ‘What kind of a man wears running shoes to a black tie wedding?’
“The groom ran alright, about a month later when he suddenly decided he didn’t want to be tied down. Packed up to travel the world, alone. Fortunately, my cousin found a decent guy after that whole mess. Been happily married 10 years this month.
“If a man’s not committed enough to dress appropriately at his own wedding, he’s probably not committed to the relationship.”
“The bride choose what pictures to display. There were a bunch of pictures of her and none of the groom.”
“I was working at a ‘wedding factory.’ On Monday, we got a call the Saturday wedding was canceled. They were told that they would lose the deposit (around $7,000). Then on Thursday they said it was back on.
“When the guests arrived every one was pissed off. It seems they told everyone it was off, then two days later that it was on. The ceremony was about 3 minutes. The bride then changed into sweat pants and then everyone got angry drunk. ‘Well this won’t last long’ I thought. Then on the following Monday, the bride walked into my (then) wife’s divorce attorney’s office.”
“My cousin (the bride) told us, as she was going from table to table thanking the guests, that she didn’t think it would last. We were stunned. They lasted about a year.”
“They were friends of mine who dated for nearly two years before their wedding. He loved her more than she loved him, obvious to all our friends, and we suspected she begrudgingly said yes to his proposal.
“He said his vows first and went on and on about loving her for the rest of his life. During hers, she started with ‘438 days … that’s how long I’ve loved you.’ It seemed sweet until she ended her vows with, ‘And I promise to love you for at least 438 more.’ Most thought nothing of it and some friends called me a dick for saying it was a subconscious sign she wasn’t in it for the long haul.
“She left him exactly that amount of days after the wedding with a note that said ‘I kept my vow to love you for 438 days more, but I can’t for a single day more.’
“The bride had the minister put ‘Til death, or divorce, do us part’ into the ceremony.”
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