The hooker with the heart of gold is singing a new tune — but it’s the same old icky story.
“Pretty Woman: The Musical,” which opened Thursday on Broadway, boasts slick direction and choreography (by Jerry Mitchell of “Kinky Boots”), plus fine performances.
But, like so many movies churned into musicals, the show is a warmed-over copy of the original.
Seriously: Why would anyone revisit such a funky fable, especially in the #MeToo age? It follows Vivian (Samantha Barks), a Hollywood Boulevard streetwalker whose $3,000 deal with Edward (Andy Karl), a cold-hearted billionaire, leads to love. It’s a fairy tale replete with condoms, cash and contrivances — and a nagging yech factor.
That was there even in 1990, when “Pretty Woman” made Julia Roberts a star and cemented Richard Gere’s status as a hunk. It’s there when Viv plops a pillow on the floor and slithers between Ed’s legs. Watching the encounter on film and onstage, you imagine thought balloons over her head filled with dollar signs. The same goes when the duo redefines what it means to bang on a piano, as Edward tickles more than the ivories.
The musical adheres faithfully to the film, with J.F. Lawton duplicating much of the dialogue — verbatim — from the script he wrote for the Garry Marshall film. Even Barks’ wardrobe is a replica of Roberts’, from her blue working-girl micro-mini to the flowing red opera gown.
The pleasant score, by Canadian pop star Bryan Adams and longtime music partner Jim Vallance, is all soft rock and smooth grooves, though earworms are in short supply. Production numbers like the ridiculous fashion show, “Rodeo Drive, Baby,” become exhausting, even when it’s led by the explosively talented Orfeh, who plays Vivian’s streetwalking BFF, Kit.
At least three songs (“Anywhere but Here,” “Welcome to Our World” and “You and I”) touch on Eliza Doolittle territory, enough to make you think you’re watching “My Fair Lady of the Night.”
The look of the show is a head-scratcher. Skimpy set pieces — an arch here, a palm tree there — slide into place as locations change. Scenic designer David Rockwell appears to have been on a budget.
In contrast, the leads go for broke. Karl (“Groundhog Day”) has a quirky way of making Edward his own: Whenever he sings about Vivian, he channels Adams, and his vocals morph into marshmallow-y lite FM.
It takes guts to step into Roberts’ thigh-high boots, but Barks, late of the film version of “Les Miserables,” sings the hell out of the part, especially in her song of defiant reckoning, “I Can’t Go Back.” At times, she comes close to overselling, but she always has you rooting for her.
One noteworthy theatrical tweak is merging several characters into one: A genial, gyrating Eric Anderson plays Vivian’s fairy godfather, who pops up everywhere — on the dirty boulevard, at the swank Beverly Wilshire Hotel and even in the orchestra pit.
The show opens with a view of Los Angeles, seen from behind the iconic Hollywood sign. It’s an unusual vantage point, hinting at fresh angles and insights into a dated story.
No such luck. “Pretty Woman: The Musical” is a singing rerun.
